MCP
2009-03-07 09:34:13 UTC
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1160084/The-daddy-deceiver-How-Angelica-Harte-tricked-fathers-having-children-hadnt-bargained-for.html
As a 31-year-old woman, she might be expected to have developed a more
mature attitude to pregnancy and childbearing. The reality is anything but.
Because Angelica, who claims to be 'addicted to having babies', readily
admits to tricking three hapless men in succession into fathering half her
brood of illegitimate daughters.
A former model, she now lives in a luxurious house in Hertfordshire with her
lawyer partner. And so thrilled is she by her family so far that she is
planning to expand it even further, this time by IVF so that she can select
a male embryo.
For all those women out there who have struggled to conceive children,
Angelica's story makes for bitter reading. But Angelica is proud of her
achievements. She plans to tell her children the truth about their
conceptions, seemingly with little understanding of the effects such
knowledge could have on them.
Defiantly, she says: 'I'll tell them I wanted a baby, but that I didn't tell
their fathers I was trying to get pregnant. When they realise that I was
prepared to lie to conceive them, they'll know they were really wanted and
much-loved babies.'
It's a very odd version of what love and parenting is all about. And the
more Angelica talks, the clearer it becomes that she is creating baby after
baby to fulfil her own deep-seated and alarming need for love and attention.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, two of the three men duped into fatherhood ended
their relationships amid bitter recriminations.
The sorry story of how Angelica became mother to Amber, 13; Summer, seven;
Lola, three; Myla, nearly two; and six-month-old twins, Bonnie and Violet,
began with her own unhappy and dysfunctional childhood.
The middle child of three, her father, a writer, and mother split up before
her teens.
She says: 'I had an awful, loveless childhood. I used to sit alone with my
dollies as a little girl, playing mummies and babies. My mother left,
remarried and had another two daughters. I remained with my father, looking
after my older and younger brothers.
'When I was 16, I met a boy. He was two years older than me and I moved in
with him and his mother. Within a year, I became pregnant. I was taking the
Pill, but it failed. But I was thrilled to be pregnant.
'When I told him, he was horrified. His mother advised me to have an
abortion, because I was too young and there was no money. But I refused. He
asked me to choose between him and the baby, so I walked out. I was 12
weeks' pregnant, with nothing but clothes and a suitcase.'
One might assume that a pregnant and homeless 17-year-old would be fearful
about her future. But not Angelica. She says: 'I felt so excited. I thought:
"This is a challenge, but I'm worldly and smart."
'I knew I would be a good mother - far better than my own mother had ever
been to me. When I felt the baby's first kick, about 19 weeks into my
pregnancy, I felt the first real wave of love.'
Angelica set up home in Peterborough, where her mother Jacqui was now living
with a new partner and their own daughter. Her mother was present at the
birth of Amber in June 1995.
Angelica says: 'It was a terrible 18-hour labour, but the second I saw
Amber, I was overwhelmed by love. It was the first time in my whole life
that I had ever been truly happy. I was on such a high, and it lasted. Other
people might be exhausted or worn down by first-time motherhood, but I
thrived. I loved cradling Amber in my arms, feeding her as she gazed up at
me. I loved the responsibility of caring for her, changing her and knowing
that she loved me unconditionally back.
'When Amber grew old enough to see other children with their fathers, she
asked me "Do I have a daddy?" and it nearly broke my heart.
'I said: "Mummy had a boyfriend and we made a baby, but he decided he wanted
to stay living with his own mummy and I wanted to keep you."
'I did try to contact her dad after Amber was born, but he didn't want
anything to do with her. When I recently emailed him on Facebook, I told him
that she wanted to meet him. But he replied just once, saying he did not
want to know her.'
What a heartbreaking message for a girl on the cusp of adolescence to have
to come to terms with when her mother tells her, as she presumably will.
'I did feel guilty that, as a little girl, she had no father figure. Then,
when she was three years old, I moved to Northampton and met a man named
Barney, through mutual friends. We moved in together and, after two years, I
decided that I wanted a little brother or sister for Amber.'
While most couples talk about expanding their family, Angelica tricked her
partner by becoming pregnant by stealth - and then presented him with a fait
accompli.
She says: 'We had never discussed having a baby, and I wasn't too sure what
he would think about it, so I just stopped taking the Pill. After about
three months, I was pregnant.
'I was absolutely thrilled, and when I told him the news, Barney seemed to
be fine about it. But as my stomach grew bigger, he started to stay out more
and more with his friends. I was obsessed with tracking every stage of my
pregnancy, looking it up in books and saying "The baby is the size of a
grape now", but he wasn't interested.
'When I went into labour, he sat in the corner of the room reading the
newspaper and eating his sandwiches. I felt so let down. This was supposed
to be the most important day of our lives and he was just showing me how
little it really meant to him.' The fact he had no role in the decision to
start a family is seemingly lost on Angelica.
Her second daughter, Summer, was born in October 2001 - but her birth
sounded a death knell for the shaky relationship between her parents.
Angelica says: 'Perhaps Barney was angry and resentful because he thought
that I had tricked him. But I didn't care as I had another little baby in my
arms and I felt complete again. I was so happy - I could almost drink in her
beautiful baby smell.
'Barney and I rowed every night, and when Summer was six months old I left
him to move down to London for a fresh start with my daughters.'
Angelica took a job as a catalogue model and then decided to treat herself
by hiring a personal trainer. She says: 'I wanted to get my pre-baby weight
back, so I hired a personal trainer, even though it cost £50 an hour. The
trainer's name was Oliver, and although he was six years younger than me, he
was rather cute. Within a few months, we had become an item.'
Then, surprise, surprise, Angelica decided to use her partner as an
unwitting sperm donor. She says: 'I thought he was nice-looking and would
make a good dad, so I stopped taking the Pill. I just thought: "It's my body
and I want a baby, so I'll have one."
'I didn't feel bad. I knew if I asked him whether he wanted a baby, he'd
probably panic and say no, because he was too young. So I decided to go
ahead and make the decision myself.
thought Oliver would eventually be delighted he was going to be a father.
It took me a couple of months to conceive and I proudly presented him with
the positive pregnancy test.
'He looked stunned and said: "How did that happen?" I shrugged and said:
"The Pill can fail, you know." I didn't dare tell him I had deliberately
become pregnant.
'Then, after his initial shock, Oliver was pleased. For a while, I thought
we might settle down, get married and raise all my daughters together.'
Seven months into the pregnancy, Angelica had pre-eclampsia and had a fit in
hospital which started an early labour. Her daughter Lola was born two
months premature in August 2005, weighing 4lb 13oz.
The new baby had been home barely three months when her parents'
relationship ended. Angelica says breezily: 'Oliver started to really
irritate me. It had been so stressful seeing my baby in the special care
unit, and I had recurring dreams about the birth for months. Oliver just
didn't seem to understand.
'But I loved Lola and I thought, "Well, I've got my baby, so I don't need
you."
'One night, we had a terrible row and I told him that it was over - I could
never love him. He stormed out and went to live with his mother. I didn't
feel guilty, because our relationship had become so unhappy. But we did stay
in touch and he remained a devoted father to Lola, taking her at weekends.'
So once more Angelica was single. But the fact that she now had three
children by three partners did not deter her from snapping up another
suitor, even though it was just three months since she and Oliver had split.
She continues: 'I fell in love with a man called Gary straight away. I met
him at a nightclub in April 2006. He came over to talk to me, I thought he
was lovely, and we started seeing each other immediately.'
Gary, 30, was a lawyer - no doubt lending him excellent father potential in
Angelica's eyes. Within eight months, Angelica had engineered another
pregnancy. And again she didn't tell the father - or should that be sperm
donor? - who believed she was on the Pill.
She says: 'I didn't tell Gary that I had stopped taking the Pill. I fell
pregnant immediately. When I told him, he was really shocked and said: "My
mum's not going to like this."
'I knew she wouldn't be happy - I was someone with lots of children by
different men, who had known her son for a matter of weeks. But the whole
family welcomed me and the baby. Gary wasn't bitter or angry that I was
pregnant. He said he loved me and had always wanted to be a dad. This time,
I had a partner who treated me, and our unborn baby, properly.'
Angelica's fourth child, Myla, was born in September 2007, and Angelica
moved into Gary's four-bedroom semi-detached home in Hemel Hempstead. Within
a year, she was yearning to be pregnant again.
She says: 'It sounds awful, but I feel that I am addicted to having babies.
I love the early stages, when they are totally dependent on me. Once they
can hold their own bottles, I feel like I am needed less - and I get broody
once more.
'When I wanted a fifth baby, I did discuss it with Gary. It was the first
time in my life I had sat down with a partner and talked about having a
planned baby together.
'Gary agreed; he loved being a father and he wanted another child, so we
were delighted when I fell pregnant again quickly. Then, at the three-month
scan, I discovered I was expecting twins. I was shocked.'
Bonnie and Violet were born in September 2008 - two months prematurely. An
emergency Caesarean on top of old scar tissue left the skin on Angelica's
stomach dangerously thin - and at least one doctor warned against having any
more children.
But incredibly - even though Angelica claims she has found complete
happiness at last - she says she feels the need for at least one more baby.
'Gary is worried because of my health. I've suffered from pre-eclampsia and
have needed several blood transfusions after haemorrhaging during my past
few labours. But I'm desperate for a little boy. It will cost a lot of
money, but I want IVF treatment which will allow us to select the sex of the
baby.
'Gary says he loves me and will pay for the treatment, as long as it does
not endanger my health.'
But what of the children who have already been born of bitterness and lies?
Angelica insists that she will tell them all about the circumstances behind
their conceptions - including the fact that their biological fathers were
duped into paternity.
Despite her astonishing approach to conception, Angelica is a devoted mother
whose life revolves around her children. Starved of affection during her own
childhood, she is determined that her own daughters are shown love.
Two of the fathers - Summer's dad Barney and Lola's father Oliver - see
their daughters at weekends. Amber's father remains uninvolved in the
13-year-old's life. Angelica says: 'All the girls love Gary and they know I
adore them. They are happy and don't question the fact that they have
different fathers.'
Meanwhile, Gary - to whom she became engaged last April - supports the whole
family financially and, except for child support, Angelica receives no money
from the State.
So, does Angelica feel any shame or regret for her behaviour, which is at
best misguided and, at worst, irresponsible?
'I do feel really guilty that I didn't tell any of these men I was trying to
get pregnant, but they've got a responsibility as well. They should have
been wearing protection, to make sure that I was not going to conceive. So
they are partly to blame.
'When I look at all my beautiful daughters, I don't regret anything. I wish
they were all Gary's children, of course, but the past can't be helped.'
As a 31-year-old woman, she might be expected to have developed a more
mature attitude to pregnancy and childbearing. The reality is anything but.
Because Angelica, who claims to be 'addicted to having babies', readily
admits to tricking three hapless men in succession into fathering half her
brood of illegitimate daughters.
A former model, she now lives in a luxurious house in Hertfordshire with her
lawyer partner. And so thrilled is she by her family so far that she is
planning to expand it even further, this time by IVF so that she can select
a male embryo.
For all those women out there who have struggled to conceive children,
Angelica's story makes for bitter reading. But Angelica is proud of her
achievements. She plans to tell her children the truth about their
conceptions, seemingly with little understanding of the effects such
knowledge could have on them.
Defiantly, she says: 'I'll tell them I wanted a baby, but that I didn't tell
their fathers I was trying to get pregnant. When they realise that I was
prepared to lie to conceive them, they'll know they were really wanted and
much-loved babies.'
It's a very odd version of what love and parenting is all about. And the
more Angelica talks, the clearer it becomes that she is creating baby after
baby to fulfil her own deep-seated and alarming need for love and attention.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, two of the three men duped into fatherhood ended
their relationships amid bitter recriminations.
The sorry story of how Angelica became mother to Amber, 13; Summer, seven;
Lola, three; Myla, nearly two; and six-month-old twins, Bonnie and Violet,
began with her own unhappy and dysfunctional childhood.
The middle child of three, her father, a writer, and mother split up before
her teens.
She says: 'I had an awful, loveless childhood. I used to sit alone with my
dollies as a little girl, playing mummies and babies. My mother left,
remarried and had another two daughters. I remained with my father, looking
after my older and younger brothers.
'When I was 16, I met a boy. He was two years older than me and I moved in
with him and his mother. Within a year, I became pregnant. I was taking the
Pill, but it failed. But I was thrilled to be pregnant.
'When I told him, he was horrified. His mother advised me to have an
abortion, because I was too young and there was no money. But I refused. He
asked me to choose between him and the baby, so I walked out. I was 12
weeks' pregnant, with nothing but clothes and a suitcase.'
One might assume that a pregnant and homeless 17-year-old would be fearful
about her future. But not Angelica. She says: 'I felt so excited. I thought:
"This is a challenge, but I'm worldly and smart."
'I knew I would be a good mother - far better than my own mother had ever
been to me. When I felt the baby's first kick, about 19 weeks into my
pregnancy, I felt the first real wave of love.'
Angelica set up home in Peterborough, where her mother Jacqui was now living
with a new partner and their own daughter. Her mother was present at the
birth of Amber in June 1995.
Angelica says: 'It was a terrible 18-hour labour, but the second I saw
Amber, I was overwhelmed by love. It was the first time in my whole life
that I had ever been truly happy. I was on such a high, and it lasted. Other
people might be exhausted or worn down by first-time motherhood, but I
thrived. I loved cradling Amber in my arms, feeding her as she gazed up at
me. I loved the responsibility of caring for her, changing her and knowing
that she loved me unconditionally back.
'When Amber grew old enough to see other children with their fathers, she
asked me "Do I have a daddy?" and it nearly broke my heart.
'I said: "Mummy had a boyfriend and we made a baby, but he decided he wanted
to stay living with his own mummy and I wanted to keep you."
'I did try to contact her dad after Amber was born, but he didn't want
anything to do with her. When I recently emailed him on Facebook, I told him
that she wanted to meet him. But he replied just once, saying he did not
want to know her.'
What a heartbreaking message for a girl on the cusp of adolescence to have
to come to terms with when her mother tells her, as she presumably will.
'I did feel guilty that, as a little girl, she had no father figure. Then,
when she was three years old, I moved to Northampton and met a man named
Barney, through mutual friends. We moved in together and, after two years, I
decided that I wanted a little brother or sister for Amber.'
While most couples talk about expanding their family, Angelica tricked her
partner by becoming pregnant by stealth - and then presented him with a fait
accompli.
She says: 'We had never discussed having a baby, and I wasn't too sure what
he would think about it, so I just stopped taking the Pill. After about
three months, I was pregnant.
'I was absolutely thrilled, and when I told him the news, Barney seemed to
be fine about it. But as my stomach grew bigger, he started to stay out more
and more with his friends. I was obsessed with tracking every stage of my
pregnancy, looking it up in books and saying "The baby is the size of a
grape now", but he wasn't interested.
'When I went into labour, he sat in the corner of the room reading the
newspaper and eating his sandwiches. I felt so let down. This was supposed
to be the most important day of our lives and he was just showing me how
little it really meant to him.' The fact he had no role in the decision to
start a family is seemingly lost on Angelica.
Her second daughter, Summer, was born in October 2001 - but her birth
sounded a death knell for the shaky relationship between her parents.
Angelica says: 'Perhaps Barney was angry and resentful because he thought
that I had tricked him. But I didn't care as I had another little baby in my
arms and I felt complete again. I was so happy - I could almost drink in her
beautiful baby smell.
'Barney and I rowed every night, and when Summer was six months old I left
him to move down to London for a fresh start with my daughters.'
Angelica took a job as a catalogue model and then decided to treat herself
by hiring a personal trainer. She says: 'I wanted to get my pre-baby weight
back, so I hired a personal trainer, even though it cost £50 an hour. The
trainer's name was Oliver, and although he was six years younger than me, he
was rather cute. Within a few months, we had become an item.'
Then, surprise, surprise, Angelica decided to use her partner as an
unwitting sperm donor. She says: 'I thought he was nice-looking and would
make a good dad, so I stopped taking the Pill. I just thought: "It's my body
and I want a baby, so I'll have one."
'I didn't feel bad. I knew if I asked him whether he wanted a baby, he'd
probably panic and say no, because he was too young. So I decided to go
ahead and make the decision myself.
thought Oliver would eventually be delighted he was going to be a father.
It took me a couple of months to conceive and I proudly presented him with
the positive pregnancy test.
'He looked stunned and said: "How did that happen?" I shrugged and said:
"The Pill can fail, you know." I didn't dare tell him I had deliberately
become pregnant.
'Then, after his initial shock, Oliver was pleased. For a while, I thought
we might settle down, get married and raise all my daughters together.'
Seven months into the pregnancy, Angelica had pre-eclampsia and had a fit in
hospital which started an early labour. Her daughter Lola was born two
months premature in August 2005, weighing 4lb 13oz.
The new baby had been home barely three months when her parents'
relationship ended. Angelica says breezily: 'Oliver started to really
irritate me. It had been so stressful seeing my baby in the special care
unit, and I had recurring dreams about the birth for months. Oliver just
didn't seem to understand.
'But I loved Lola and I thought, "Well, I've got my baby, so I don't need
you."
'One night, we had a terrible row and I told him that it was over - I could
never love him. He stormed out and went to live with his mother. I didn't
feel guilty, because our relationship had become so unhappy. But we did stay
in touch and he remained a devoted father to Lola, taking her at weekends.'
So once more Angelica was single. But the fact that she now had three
children by three partners did not deter her from snapping up another
suitor, even though it was just three months since she and Oliver had split.
She continues: 'I fell in love with a man called Gary straight away. I met
him at a nightclub in April 2006. He came over to talk to me, I thought he
was lovely, and we started seeing each other immediately.'
Gary, 30, was a lawyer - no doubt lending him excellent father potential in
Angelica's eyes. Within eight months, Angelica had engineered another
pregnancy. And again she didn't tell the father - or should that be sperm
donor? - who believed she was on the Pill.
She says: 'I didn't tell Gary that I had stopped taking the Pill. I fell
pregnant immediately. When I told him, he was really shocked and said: "My
mum's not going to like this."
'I knew she wouldn't be happy - I was someone with lots of children by
different men, who had known her son for a matter of weeks. But the whole
family welcomed me and the baby. Gary wasn't bitter or angry that I was
pregnant. He said he loved me and had always wanted to be a dad. This time,
I had a partner who treated me, and our unborn baby, properly.'
Angelica's fourth child, Myla, was born in September 2007, and Angelica
moved into Gary's four-bedroom semi-detached home in Hemel Hempstead. Within
a year, she was yearning to be pregnant again.
She says: 'It sounds awful, but I feel that I am addicted to having babies.
I love the early stages, when they are totally dependent on me. Once they
can hold their own bottles, I feel like I am needed less - and I get broody
once more.
'When I wanted a fifth baby, I did discuss it with Gary. It was the first
time in my life I had sat down with a partner and talked about having a
planned baby together.
'Gary agreed; he loved being a father and he wanted another child, so we
were delighted when I fell pregnant again quickly. Then, at the three-month
scan, I discovered I was expecting twins. I was shocked.'
Bonnie and Violet were born in September 2008 - two months prematurely. An
emergency Caesarean on top of old scar tissue left the skin on Angelica's
stomach dangerously thin - and at least one doctor warned against having any
more children.
But incredibly - even though Angelica claims she has found complete
happiness at last - she says she feels the need for at least one more baby.
'Gary is worried because of my health. I've suffered from pre-eclampsia and
have needed several blood transfusions after haemorrhaging during my past
few labours. But I'm desperate for a little boy. It will cost a lot of
money, but I want IVF treatment which will allow us to select the sex of the
baby.
'Gary says he loves me and will pay for the treatment, as long as it does
not endanger my health.'
But what of the children who have already been born of bitterness and lies?
Angelica insists that she will tell them all about the circumstances behind
their conceptions - including the fact that their biological fathers were
duped into paternity.
Despite her astonishing approach to conception, Angelica is a devoted mother
whose life revolves around her children. Starved of affection during her own
childhood, she is determined that her own daughters are shown love.
Two of the fathers - Summer's dad Barney and Lola's father Oliver - see
their daughters at weekends. Amber's father remains uninvolved in the
13-year-old's life. Angelica says: 'All the girls love Gary and they know I
adore them. They are happy and don't question the fact that they have
different fathers.'
Meanwhile, Gary - to whom she became engaged last April - supports the whole
family financially and, except for child support, Angelica receives no money
from the State.
So, does Angelica feel any shame or regret for her behaviour, which is at
best misguided and, at worst, irresponsible?
'I do feel really guilty that I didn't tell any of these men I was trying to
get pregnant, but they've got a responsibility as well. They should have
been wearing protection, to make sure that I was not going to conceive. So
they are partly to blame.
'When I look at all my beautiful daughters, I don't regret anything. I wish
they were all Gary's children, of course, but the past can't be helped.'